September 21st 2015 Laredo, Texas

[WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS]

Welcome to the second edition of CM PUNK HOUSE, the wrestling blog that has nothing to do with ex professional wrestler CM Punk. Just a heads up I fell asleep during this show but I went back and re-watched most of it.

For the first time Monday Night Raw doesn’t start with an Authority/Seth Rollins promo.

Instead we get a Bray Wyatt promo. Roman Reigns interrupts and beats up Wyatt. Obviously this turns into a brawl with Ambrose and the rest of the Wyatt Family. Randy Orton steps in to be the equalizer. Ambriens with the help of Orton are finally able to keep Braun Strowman back. We didn’t get an actual match to start the show but at least it was a little different.

Seth goes to the office to complain to Triple H and Stephanie but is instead greeted by CORPORATE KANE. In case you missed NOC, DEMON KANE returned to attack Seth.  Kane is now creating a separation between the two characters. Corporate Kane pretends to not know what Demon Kane did but is obviously fucking with everyone. I found this section of Raw very entertaining. Kane doesn’t get enough credit as a comedic actor. He was gold as part of Team Hell No with Daniel Bryan.

At this point in Kane’s career he is at his best playing a comedy character.

In this circumstance, I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be the comedy character.  Demon Kane is supposed to be a legitimate threat to Seth Rollins, but I’m not sure anyone thinks Kane can beat him. I hope Kane does beat Seth, if just to shake expectations. At the same time Seth needs to win. Seth Rollins is the World Champ and he lost to Cena TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. John Cena is the United States Champion. Having the United States Champion beat the World Champion makes the World championship look weak. I’m not having fun with this topic so I’m moving on!

Every time JBL says “Demon Kane” it sounds like he’s saying “Dee Mccain”. Corporate Kane does remind me of a monster John Mccain. 

I think I remember hearing something about Kane running for office in his state.

I could talk about Kevin Owen’s being awesome again but he doesn’t need me to rn.

Ric Flair has a really emotional segment with his daughter Charlotte. Tears all over the place. It was a good ol cry-fest.

Paige ruins the moment by having a total bee fit, or as Donald Trump might say, “a bitch fit”. I’m trying to be politically correct and Trump seems like a great politically incorrect scapegoat. I’m so happy Paige is a heel (antagonist) because I love to hate her. She’s annoying AF. This is a highly unpopular opinion because every wrestling dork gets wet for Paige but she has a terrible personality. Watch her be a judge on Tough Enough and you’ll see! I’m not wrong on this one.

I want to see Charlotte punch her in the face. I really have no clue why Becky held her back tonight.

OH and Nattie’s back!

Little Caesar’s legit had a commercial where they bragged about not having an online service to order pizza. I love Little Caesars commercials.  Their pizza is garbage but their commercials are the best. As much as I love their commercials this one was pretty ass backwards. Bragging about not having online ordering is like bragging about having a tape player in your car because tapes are smaller than CDs. Maybe Little Caesar’s is trying to capture the hipster audience? I don’t think they have gluten free vegan options yet.

Dominoes has a commercial showcasing all the different ways you can order pizza but not LC. You have to order in person! Why would you boast about that?  You can tweet @Dominoes a pizza emoji and order (according to their commercial).

The New Day is still killing it! Especially with Rusev. The New Day needs to be Rusev’s permanent Hype Squad.

12 rounds 3, isn’t that just 36 rounds?

I’m going to call it guys. I hope you enjoyed my review of a Little Caesar’s Commercial.

I’m giving this episode of RAW

4/10 Pizza Slices

See you next week. Maybe.

I’m going to go look for stamps so I can send Little Caesar’s my pizza order.